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Subject: Rant

Lately I've felt insignificant, like I'm just a speck in this world, simply exsisting, nothing more. Not that I want to be a famous somebody, but I feel like I haven't done anything worth knowing about...

I am extremely lucky to have the Fiance I have, my family, my friends, a decent paying job in this economy and now finally our own apartment, free of future roomate cooties. I should be estatic for the state I'm currently in but... I'm not.

Since I've moved to Ohio, my passion for art has only grown. I'm pretty sure had I stayed in Cali, my art progress would have stopped. I would have never opened commissions. However, opening commissions wasn't enough and I finally had to get a real job. I'm not employed full time working 5 days a week and on call every 4th weekend. I'm currently studying to get certified which must be completed by the end of this year. And then hopefully once I'm certified, I'll be attending school part time in winter quarter. Add ferret responsibilities and trying to keep a boderline cabin-fevered Fiance from going insane, leaves very little room for art.

And then I look at my best friend, who is in a similair situation... And she can pump out art like nothing. I've always been envious of her speed. I may not want it for full cg pieces, but to at least get clean ideas out? That would be amazing.

She's progressing so quickly in her art I'm just.. extremely jealous. I just pump the same mediocre shit. There is so much I need to learn that I have no idea where to start. There are so many things I need to improve on, I don't know what to do first. Master what I know, or learn more things.

I feel like I want to do something with my art. I want to be known for it. I never thought to take on an art major because I didn't think I would go so far.

*Sigh* I don't think there was a point of this journal. Just writing shit to get it out of my head.